"Appropriate Sex"

This week, we talked about socially constructed "appropriate" sex- specifically "great sex." What is "great sex?" If you pick up a woman's magazine, such as cosmo, it will tell you something about how to please your man, giving out the message that great sex is when you provide it to your man.  In contrast, great sex for men is all about receiving it, and you will never see any mention in a man's magazine about how to please your woman. Why? First of all, the idea that men need advice on pleasing their woman is insulting. Men are programmed from day one, they don't need advice. Second, great sex isn't about the woman, because the woman provides it. The big question here is: what is socially constructed "appropriate" sex? To boil it down, appropriate sex is what is socially acceptable- meaning, heterosexual, white, and for the most part, monogamous. The following artifacts are visual representations of appropriate sex and/or great sex. 

Artifact 1: This is a cover of a August 2007 issue of Cosmopolitan.  Observe the bolded text on the left hand side: "His #1 SEX Fantasy: No Woman Has Had the Nerve to Try This on Him... And He'll Go Totally Nuts When You Do." This goes back to the concept that women are there to please and great sex has nothing to do with a woman's needs.  On the right hand side of the cover: "Feel Sex More Intensely: A Guide to Your Body During the Deed." This is impressive that there is any mention to this at all because as mentioned before, it is not about satisfying women. However, while this does address women's needs to feel sexually satisfied, it is featured in a woman's magazine. So in addition to women having to please their man, if they want any sexual fulfillment, they must accomplish that by themselves, on top of what they need to do to get their man off. 

http://www.jessicaalbamm.org/movies/NewCosmo-August07.jpg

Artifact 2: This is a clip from the Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas movie entitled "Original Sin." The clip picks up after they finished their sexual encounter, and Angelina asks what is the man's name. In Dempsey and Reicher's article "Portrayl of Married Sex in the Movies,"

 they talk about how "the most common sexual depiction in the films was sexual intercourse between unmarried partners." I felt like this clip was the perfect example of this, sense the two actors are complete strangers, not even in a committed relationship with each other, and had just finished "the deed."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DgNb2mjYjm

Artifact 3: This clip is from the movie "Coyote Ugly." It depicts the main character, Violet Stafford at her first day of work at this bar. While being trained, her boss, Lil, tells her that she is supposed to appear available but never be available, and of course makes her outfit more appropriate for the bar by ripping it to shorten it. On page 3 of the article by Menard and Kleinplatz, they mention how women are encouraged to dress and interact with men that makes them sexually desirable without showing their own desire. What her boss, Lil, says in this clip is the visual depiction of Menard and Kleinplatz's article. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v+UHir5nF5I-g

Artifact 4: In the same article mentioned above, the authors dicuss narrow sexual scripts. They also go on to talk about kinky sex and bondage: "bondage should involve ties and scarves and not actual bondage paraphernalia. Any "kink" should be "mild" because, as many magazines implied or stated explicitly, full-on kink is just plain scary" (pg. 14). I chose this image because it really shows how full-on kink is scary. The woman is bound, gaged, and has a dog collar around her neck. Also, another point about full kink paraphernalia being scary, when you see images of this in movies, they are usually depicted in horror movies during the scariest scenes (ie the woman being chained up and about to be slaughtered) and you never see images of hard core bondage in romantic comedies. In other words, this is NOT appropriate sex.
http://www.profilefunk.com/pics/self_description/fetish/AmberMHorrorBondage_0058.jpg

Artifact 5: Lastly, we have a image from the movie, "The Notebook" starring Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. In the film, the two meet and fall madly in love with each other and even though many things come between them, they end up together. I chose this image because it pretty much hits every aspect of "appropriate" sex: they are both white, heterosexual,and monogamous. This movie is filled with many cliches about love and marriage and soul mates, and is a perfect example of the ideal all-American couple. 

http://www.independentcritics.com/images/notebookSPLASH.jpg